My Biography as CD/Transvestite 

Hmmm…. Where should I begin?  Think I started from the very beginning when I was a little child ba…I grew up in a very poor family with lots of sisters and few boys.  My Dad is a seamen (sailor) and seldom at home with us.  I am the youngest boy after my elder sister and below me, I have three younger sisters.  As a child I am very timid and shy.  I tend to behave very sissy looking when I was in primary school.   When I was very little boy at the age of 5 to 6 years old, my mum always gave let me wear my sister’s children clothing passed down to the sibling.  To her, children are all the same regardless we are girls or boys.  Guess we are poor and my mum just wanted to save for other things.    At first it was just innocent little boy wearing my sister's clothing looking just like my sisters. When I grew older, my mum started to differential me between girls.  But I mixed and played with all my younger sisters more than my elder brothers.    Unknowingly I grew up and enjoyed all the girlie stuff like teddies bears, dolls and girls’ masa masa (children toys) … It never occurred to me until when I was about 11 or 12 years old..... I found out I have obsession to wear a girl’s dress.  It happened one day when I came across my sister’s worn clothing strewn in the laundry basket left inside the bathroom.  First it was just like being mischievous and took one of my sister’s dresses and tried it.  It is just like a new plaything to me the moment I wore her dress.  I was too innocent to understand anything but just knew the feeling of wearing my sister's dress look good on me. Since then I have been locking myself practically every time secretly inside bathroom browsing and playing with my sister's clothing and taking them out to wear it. I would try out every bits of my sister's clothing not to mention even her underwear’s panty. I have no feeling of guilt or shame whatsoever, probably I was too young to understand what is sexual indecency was at that age and have no kind of that thought in my mind. It was just purely innocent activities going through my adolescent age. I just merely enjoy wearing my sister's clothing. As I grew a bit older I begun to attain the kind of fulfillment derive from wearing a lady's bra and panties. Think because I like girlie and feminine stuff since I was a little child. As I was rather timid and sissy in my childhood, I was often teased by my classmates for being sissy in primary school. I was very shy then and prefer to stay at home to play with my younger sisters rather than with all the boys outside. And I love all my sister's soft toys, dolls and teddies bear. As I grew older I get even more obsessed with myself in cross dressing. I get even bolder whenever I had the opportunity to he alone in the house, I would go to my sister's closet and dig into all her clothing and taking them to try it. These have been going on and on in my adolescent age. By then I stopped wearing my sister's clothing for fear she discovered it one day.   I have to acquire my own collection of female dresses and undies, mostly I got them from the old gunny sack of females clothing discarded by the neighboring houses when I was in Secondary school. I was very vain then in my dressing and like to adore myself when I dolled up prettily and sexily. I carried on my deviant in cross dressing until... when I reached 18 years old I was enlisted in the army. Army life was tough for me and that changed me totally. Slowly my desire and mood to dress die out. I began to feel ashamed of my feminine feature in the army when I was teased and scorn by my army mates. So I started to imitate all my real guys’ friends’ behavior and trained myself up to be macho and manly. Soon I done away with my effeminate self and grew into a straight guy. After the army, it was working life for me.  And then next was marriage life. Though I never seriously interested in girls but I was brought up in an old fashion and ancient ancestry Chinese family custom, my Dad tricked and fooled me into marriage to a girl I have not met before.  That time we were told my Dad had acute heart problem and I being a filial and piety son I had to give in to my Dad for fear of causing him another blow in his heart attack.   And that was how I ended mess up in marriage that I regretted until now. I thought I had forgotten how to cross dress for as long as I could in my marriage life.  However as years gone by I grew tired of my marriage life style and slowly drifted back into my feminine self again through some influence. It happened one night; I met a beautiful cross dresser after work in my late night shift. I saw her every night in the neighborhood park and got enchanted by her appearance. I began to have admiration for her and tried to get intimate with her. But alas! I only knew this cross dresser for a little short time. Though I never get to see her again but she left me a very deep impression. She was my role model I use to portray in cross dressing and began to imitate every part and bits of her. Soon I began to have the passion to dress again but then I was already in my early thirties. I started again my collection of my feminine stuff and began a life as closet cross dresser till I reach my early forties. I got in computer stuff and make some fellow cross dressers friends through the internets. I began to identify myself as bi sexual cross dresser and came out to meet some fellow cross dressers and guys too. Slowly I began to come out of closet and became very active till what I am now in my fifties. I have met so many cross dressers friends, guys friends and sisters (pre op MtF transsexual) and even had close relationship with a few of them. And towards my late forties, I began taking hormones after some unhappiness over tragic affairs with a few T gurls.  And live my life as a transvestite in my late forties till the present I am in my early fifties now. So I don't think it is easy for a cross dresser transvestite like me to change even if in my fifties or sixties. Not till I RIP, I would want to be buried all dressed and dolled up fully as a pretty and sexy woman in my funeral.